Friday, July 15, 2016

Hoof in Mouth Redux

         Did Newt really say that we should question all American Muslims and if they say they believe in Sharia, we should deport them? If they say they don't believe in Sharia, they can stay,
         "Hey, Mohammed, you believe in Sharia?"
         "Sharia? What's Sharia? Is that like some kind of a sandal?"
         "Ok, you can stay."
          What is going on here? One week of no 'Trumpeting' and here come the Trumpettes. Who asked for surrogates?
          Why can't it just be, What does he (G-d forbid 'she') want to do about this? Or what will he do about that? Why does it always have to be Whose foot? Whose mouth?

Sunday, July 10, 2016

Obama Finds Reason To Stop Shooting Cops

 U.S. President Barack Obama has warned that attacks on police over racial bias would hurt the anti-racism Black Lives Matter movement... 

Saturday, July 2, 2016

From "Night' by Eli Wiesel

"I've got more faith in Hitler than in anyone else. He's the only one who's kept his promises, all his promises, to the Jewish people."

Friday, July 1, 2016

Bill Speaks

"Now you listen to me. I did not have sex with that woman, that Loretta Lynch."
I guess this time we can believe him.

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Flush

        Recently, the LGBT-and-don't-forget-the-Q Community was outraged to learn that at least one state will require that boys use the boys bathroom and girls, well, girls never try to sneak into the boys bathroom. Not an issue.
        And no one was surprised when the usual suspects decided to join in the festivities.
        Born in the New Jersey Highlands and others canceled concerts because, well, 'there are more important things than making money', especially when you have so much money that you can no longer count it. And then there's that warm fuzzy feeling that a person gets from doing 'the right thing.'
       By the way, you think anyone thought to ask all those other folks who would have to lose a few paydays, you know, the ticket sellers, ticket takers, cleaners, ushers, chatchka sellers, etc. if they would agree to swap a couple of warm fuzzy feelings for...lunch?
        I'm guessing probably not but, remember what that Russian guy used to say,
        "If you want to make an omelet, you must be willing to break a few eggs." Too bad all those folks who are always getting their eggs broken almost never get that omelet.

Sunday, May 15, 2016

Social Justice and the Minimum Wage


     One of the problems with raising the minimum wage is that you have to raise everyone else's wage too and that can get pretty pricey.  Instead, any business employing low wage workers should put a locked 'Social Justice' box next to the cash register. Different from a tip jar because anyone could contribute 'social justice' money, not just customers.
       Workers would then get their usual salary plus a social justice bonus based on the hours they worked. For instance, suppose that at the end of the week, there was a thousand dollars in the social justice box and suppose that the total number of hours worked by all workers was 200 hours.
        Divide 1,000 by 200 and each worker would get $5 extra for every hour he or she worked. Someone who worked ten hours that week would get $50 dollars plus their regular salary. Twenty hours, $100. And so on.
        Why is this better than just raising (doubling?) the minimum wage? Two reasons,
        First, way less incentive to lay anyone off or to replace workers with computers, even in a recession.
        And, second, no more endless discussions about high school students getting more than they need and single moms getting less. Just give more to places that employ people you think need it and less to the others. 
        And finally, it goes without saying that Social Justice money will not be taxable. Why? Well. again, two reasons,
        First, social justice money recipients are at the very bottom of the economic ladder. Who needs and deserves a tax deduction more than they do?
        And secondly, this whole thing is my idea, so I make the rules. I'm a libertarian. My rule is...no tax on Social Justice money. Period!
                                                                          ***
        "Senator Flotsam, did you hear the news. They want to give a tax deduction to poor people."
        "But why, Senator Jetsam? They never give us any campaign contributions."
        "And if they get to keep more of their own money, they won't need us anymore."
        "And who'll pay for our free haircuts?"
        "And our gym and our nice trips and, and, and..."
                                                                           ***
        Burger flippers of the world unite! You've got nothing to lose but your onion rings!

Thursday, March 10, 2016

Order in the Court...more or less


"Waah! Everyone will see me naked. I'm so embarrassed.  I'll never be able to go out in public again. I'll never have any friends. I'll never be in love or be able to  have sex again. I'll never be able to brush my teeth again. Waah!"
"Mr. Forman, have you reached a decision?"
"We have, your honor. We award 55 million dollars to the plaintif for all her suffering. Poor thing."
"Hmm, anybody see my toothbrush?"