Sunday, July 5, 2015

The Law of the Land

        It's no secret that the U.S. Constitution has been subject to much (mis?)interpretation over the years. Maybe it's too long, too complicated, not complicated enough, who knows? If I were rewriting it, I'd try,
                                           United States Constitution
                                                   We the people.
                                                         The end.
"What?! What is that supposed to be?"
       "It's the constitution. Why, you don't like it? Did you read the whole thing?"
"But, but, but...there's nothing there. Everything's missing."
       "Well, it's a little short but easy to read."     
"But, it doesn't say anything, doesn't answer any questions."
        "Give me a question that my constitution won't answer for you."
"Ok. What if two gay people want to get married. Can they?"
        "You sure you read the whole thing? Look, right after the 'e' in 'we', you see where it says
         that the constitution guarantees the right to marriage? And if the constitution guarantees
          the right to marriage, gay people also have the right to marry. Simple."
"Wait a minute! I don't see any of that stuff in there. Where are you reading?"
        "Hmm, do you see the stuff about the right to privacy, the right to an abortion, the right
         to make everyone buy health insurance or pay a penalty?"
"No, I don't see any of that stuff."
        "Just as I suspected. You're an originalist."
"Doc, no! Am I going to die?"
        "An 'originalist' is someone who reads the constitution and interprets it the way it was
         written. They are often referred to as The Sensible Ones. Others claim that the
         constitution is a 'living document' and has to be interpreted differently, no matter what  
         it says or how clearly it's written, because it was written for 'a different time.' They are 
         often referred to as New York Times Editorial Writers."   
"But that's crazy! Something can mean one thing today and something completely
  different tomorrow. Depends on who's on the Court. What a way to run a country."
        "So, who's perfect?"
"And if The Constitution is a 'living document' and can mean different things on different
  days, then what about the Penal Code, the Commercial Code, the..."
        "Sh-h-h, don't give them any ideas."

Monday, June 8, 2015

50 Million Climate Scientists Can't Be Wrong

        Try casually mentioning that you think 'climate change' or 'global warming' is no big deal and you will be informed that 97% of climate scientists think it's a very big deal, is dangerous, and is going to destroy the planet if we don't do something about it right away and that you are a fool and should just go away and stick your head in the troposphere.
        Whew! Scary stuff but is that really what all those scientists believe? Really?
        Well, climate scientists do overwhelmingly agree that the planet has been in a warming trend for about the last 150 years but, so what? The Little Ice Age was a time of unusually cold temperatures which ended in 1850. Since then, the planet has been warming. Warm, cold, warm, cold...It's the way climate has naturally fluctuated since the Earth was formed billions of years ago. 
         The important question is whether this warming is dangerous and there is nowhere near 97% agreement on that, with scientific opinion being all over the map, unless, of course, you survey only the 'scientists' in Hollywood,
         "Now, when you hear the loud crack, let's see those brows furrow. A glacier is coming apart because of global warming and climate change. We're talking the end of the world here, people. Furrow, furrow!"
         "You mean like they taught us in Actor's Studio?"
        Remember, movies are make believe. Playing a brilliant scientist isn't the same as actually being one although it pays a lot better.  
        Anyone remember the Galveston Hurricane of 1900? Category 4 hurricane, winds of 145 miles per hour. What was that all about? Pre-global warming? Pre-climate change. Pre-Al Gore are you listening?!