Sunday, May 7, 2017

Raise My Taxes

       "You sure he's deaf?"
       "As a stone."
       "Congressman, I came to see you today because, well, I feel a little guilty. I've done pretty well over the years and well, I really think my taxes should be raised."
        " You're a fine American. Good to see there's still some like you around. Done!"
        "Done?! What's done? Wait, I was only kidding. I..."
        "What did he say? Can't hear a word. Damn hearing aids. One minute they're working. Next, you're deaf as a stone." 
       If life has been good to you and you've been saying, for what seems like forever, and on every talk show that will have you, that you want Congress to raise your taxes because 'it's only fair' or because you shouldn't be 'paying taxes at a lower rate than your secretary' and, if it sometimes seems that nobody is listening, we have great news for you!
       You can raise your taxes right now. Today.
       Just go get your Form 1040 and turn to page 2. On line 76, 'Amount You Owe,' right after the number that your accountant told you that you HAVE to pay this year, put in a little plus sign. Then, right after the plus sign (+), put in a number for all the extra taxes that you WANT to pay and know that you should pay.
       That's it!

      So, Warren and Bill and Barack and Nouriel and Matt and Russell and Chris and Chelsea and...(fill in your name here),  go get your checkbook and you're ready to rock and roll! If the dog eats your checkbook, call the bank and you'll have another one before you can say, "Take my taxes, please." 

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